August 25th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
I proudly present to you the Top 6 Reasons Why - No Matter How Hard You Try I Will Not Have Sex With You Ms. Gas Station Cashier.
1. I come to this gas station every day my for daily fix of taurine and nicotine. Say we were to bump uglies, that would mean by the laws of Seinfeld that I would be obligated to chit chat with you each time I came in. Hell, that’s one of the reasons I don’t have sex with the permanently premenstrual psychopath wife.
2. Not matter how big the breasts are, no matter how gadunk-a-dunk the booty, the face still matters. And I’m sorry, I don’t have a fetish for anorexic Wizard of Oz munchkins….or umpaloompa’s for that matter. It’s just a rumor.
3. What the fuck is with the new scabs all over the arms each day?!
4. I know its Texas. I know its August. I know its hot. But does the gas station have to smell like a fry cook at Long John Silvers EVERY day?
5. It’s inevitable. You will develop an obsession with me. Moobs (man boobs for the uninformed), birthing hips, no ass and a belly button deeper than the Mariana’s Trench will be too much for you to resist.
6. Probably the most important reason is: I’m lazy. As one of my good friends once said:
Masturbation is better than sex. It’s less work and more rewarding.
August 24th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
I came across a great article today over at c|net.com posted by Daniel Terdiman which discussed Sarah Lacy and her presentation last Saturday in Seattle at the Gnomedex conference. If you would like to read the entire article head you can check it out HERE.
Interestingly enough, the biggest display of ego driven narcissistic personality disorder at the conference was provided by uber-douche-monkey uber-blogger Robert Scoble after he jumped out of his chair and and slothed his fat ass to the back to throw a hissy fit towards Geoff Livingston.
Lacy began the session by posing the theory that in some ways, the PR industry has co-opted blogging–taking advantage of the fact that many bloggers trying to earn a living are so eager for page views that they will post just about anything they are spoon-fed.
I started this and my wife’s blog after I separated from the military. Our goal was to use the blogs as a creative outlet and, if possible, to earn a little extra income to offset the loss of my salary. The last few weeks I’ve been doing intense research on blogging, marketing, promoting, advertising, etc. etc. I’ve come across pages and pages of extremely useful information. However, I noticed that nearly all of the blogging advice I read never once mentioned anything about enjoying your blog or being yourself when you blog. It was all SEO this and Page Rank that. Am I trying to earn a living from blogging? Yes. Am I going to sell myself out to earn a living from blogging? No.
Others agreed, saying that the problem is that while the architecture of blogging is fairly standard, what people do with it can be quite different: Some may write a small personal blog and TechCrunch may be a large media company, but both use similar tools and are therefore lumped together to the detriment of the terminology.
Exactly. Look at the top 10 blog ist on Technorati. Those are NOT blogs. They are corporate websites/webzines. There needs to be a way to separate the corporate from the personal. I scan the corporate blogs for tips. I scan the personal blogs for content and meeting new people and developing the occasional blog crush..*cough* Jenny *cough*.
I will continue to press on with my blog without resorting to link baiting and forcing my family and friends to spam link me on every social network out there so I can move up from my 5.7 millionth ranking on Alexa. I enjoy blogging. I enjoy meeting new people. I enjoy staying home with my daughter full time. Finally, I hope everything works out for us.
August 23rd, 2008 at 9:58 pm
The title actually should be “The Shit No One Tells You About Before You Start Your Blog”
1. Self Hosting - If you plan on hosting your blog you better be familiar with servers. All your admin and maintenance work will done from your server. Screw up there, and you screw your blog.
2. Learn Some HTML/PHP - Because no theme you try will ever be exactly what you want. You want to tweak the them you have to tweak the code. It doesn’t take long to learn.
3. Learn To Be Like Totally Sociable -From Stumble Upon, to Blog Log to Blog Catalog you need to join social networks and promote, promote, promote you blog. If it makes you feel better I’m ranked number 5.7 millionth most popular website according to Alexa.
4. There Is More Than Adsense -Google doesn’t control everything…yet. Take a look around and find the right choice. The are numerous advertising sites for your blog out there.
5 - You WILL Spend At least 12 Hours Out Of Your Day Doing Something Blogish - Its inevitable.
